If there’s one thing we understand at Technalink, it’s that there are always ways to make things better, and it’s never a bad idea to strive for these things. Cultivating a sense of mindfulness is always a helpful goal for people as it can lead to bettering themselves both spiritually and even professionally if they can bring those benefits to their workplace practices.
However, striving for self-improvement always runs the risk of bringing one common hazard that can actively hamper progress, and that is the pursuit of perfection.
Actions, Not Results
Mindfulness is not a fixed state but a dynamic process. It’s about creating a space between your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to observe them without being consumed by them. This process of stepping back and gaining perspective is the essence of mindfulness, and it’s a journey that unfolds over time.
In other words, mindfulness is like being able to observe and discuss an emotion or thought happening to someone else rather than getting caught up in that same experience and having immediate thoughts and feelings shaped by that experience instead of distantly observing them. Mindfulness is about being able to observe the present without being lost in it.
While that is the ultimate goal, some, especially those with perfectionist streaks, will settle for nothing less than attaining that state as quickly as possible. And in so doing, they make it harder for themselves to achieve that state.
Thinking About Now
To focus on a goal with mindfulness can actually hinder your progress. The ultimate goal of mindfulness is to focus on the present, to stop thinking about other things, and to be receptive and observant to what is happening in the now. This does not, however, mean that people are “failing” or are “bad at meditation” if, in their sessions of mindfulness, stray thoughts should enter.
Our ability to think is our greatest strength, and we can never actually turn it “off,” so it’s not only natural but inevitable for stray thoughts to enter a meditation session from time to time and distract people from focusing only on the present. However, it’s crucial to understand that this should not be viewed as a failure or a mistake.
Meditation is a matter of practice. Parents do not expect babies who are learning to swim to do so by throwing them into the deep end and expecting expert swimming results. Parents exercise patience with children learning to swim, understanding that it requires smaller, slower steps that build on one another before finally leading to full-fledged swimming in the deep end of the pool. In the same sense, “pure mindfulness” is like the deep end of the meditation pool, and it is unfair and unreasonable to expect yourself to achieve this state on the first try or even the first ten or dozens of tries.
Accept & Move On
This is why, for people who are learning to meditate and pursuing mindfulness for the first time, it is important to expect and accept that distractions happen. The best approach when distraction happens, is not to give in to self-criticism, berating, or any other kind of self-inflicted discipline or punishment. Instead, be aware that distraction has occurred, observe the distraction and the reaction to it, and then let go of the stray thought, allowing the distraction to move on while you consciously shift attention back to the present and continue to move toward mindfulness.
People should accept that, as with first learning to play a musical instrument or even exercising, mindfulness does not fall completely and is finished in a person’s lap. For more on how mindfulness can help both at home and at work, The Om Factor: A Women’s Spiritual Guide To Leadership is available in print, digital, and audiobook formats.
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